Grace for the Ordinary

The older I have become, the more precious grace has also become.  Grace... you don't deserve her and neither do I.

No, I'm not talking about a young girl; I am talking about unmerited favor, mercy, forgiveness.  She is a gift that ushers you into security, covers you in love, and usually leaves you on your face in humility and gratitude.  Sometimes she is wrapped in fancy wrapping with an exquisite bow.  More often than not, she comes wrapped in crumpled newspaper or with a simple bow tied around her.

I have seen her step into marriages that have gone beyond the point of utter desparation.  I have seen her lift the heads of teenagers who have made a complete mess of their lives and clothed themselves in shame.  I have seen her redeem, restore, and revive.  How?  Because she herself is not what brings the change, but the Giver of grace alone.  And when you receive your package of grace...wrapped simply and small, or large and with great elegance, you can't receive her without brushing the nail-scarred hands of the One who gives her.

I am not a woman with a sordid past.  I was the kind who didn't like to push the envelope, or disappoint.  There have been no drugs, no alcohol abuse, no sex before marriage.  But oh, there was, and there is, a need for grace.  When I look into the eyes of one of my precious daughters and have to correct her for wrong behavior, I am very well aware that more often than not, she learned that behavior from me.  Those words of judgement that would leave someone completely crushed....oh, they may not come out of my mouth, but I live with the very real knowledge that they are rattling around in my heart.  There are times that fear shouts so loudly in my spirit that it barely allows the Spirit of God to even be heard as a whisper.

But my sin is what nailed Christ to the cross, the same as the sin of any rapist or murderer or child molester.  My heart, my soul, my very life is in as much need of grace, as the terrorist who lives half-way across the world plotting the demise of thousands.  I need my head lifted, my heart restored, my life redeemed.  I have touched the life of the Giver of grace, and I will never be the same.  I will forgive freely.  I will pray with compassion.  I will break my gift of grace...so sweetly given to me...into as many pieces as I possibly can, so that I can give her to those around me.

I need grace.  Grace for the ordinary.  And I don't care how she is gift-wrapped.  As long as I can brush hands with her Giver. 

Thankful...so thankful

 This was our 4th year to do our Thankfulness tree.  Here are 3 quick snapshots into the hearts of my children...

We spent our Thanksgiving Day with Mimi and Papa D.

 Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.  His love endures forever."  Ps. 136:1

Fabulous Four!

 This precious girl is now 4!  I can't believe it!  I cried getting pictures out for her party just thinking that she is no longer a baby.  Although, she knows well, no matter how old she gets, she is still my baby!

 We had a pajama princess party Saturday morning.

 We colored a princess puzzle...

 We bounced in the princess castle bounce house...

 We blew out candles (although embarassingly, I only put 3 candles on.  Not a single person said something to me and I didn't even think about it until Monday on her real birthday) and ate cute ladybug cupcakes that Ashlyn decorated.

 We opened gifts from sweet friends...

 and then later that night went and got her ears pierced. The 2 things she has wanted for her birthday are to get her ears pierced and ride a horse.

 She did as awesome as her big sisters did.  No tears...

 We talked on the phone to Gampa...

 ...and went to dinner at Shogun's with Mimi and Papa D.  These two things were done on her actual birthday.

 The only thing left is to reschedule our pony ride which got cancelled due to rain.

Precious girl, we love you more than words could ever say.  You are so sweet, so kind, so funny and so smart.  Everyday is fun with you!  You make our days brighter and our nights sweeter.  Love you so much, Reesie-boo!   Love, Mommy

Fall Fun

So Proud of my Girls

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank Christ for the 3 sweet girls who call me mom each day.  They stole my heart long ago and i feel tremendously blessed. 

All 3 of my girls hold a special place in my heart and bless me beyond what I deserve.  It truly feels like they are part of God's goodness wrapped up in petite little girl bodies.  Reese brings my soul such peace and calmness.  If you know her, you know she isn't shy and quiet.  She doesn't just sit in a corner and smile over at me throughout the day.  She is full of life and love and joy!  She is so funny, so imaginitive, and so bright.  Yet, there is something in her that truly soothes me to the core of my being.  If something is bothering me or I feel sad, I'll often just have her snuggle up next to me or even sneak in her room at night after she's gone to bed just to lay next to her for awhile.  I am so thankful for the Lord's blessing of peace through her in my life.

Laney brings me joy unimaginable.  I've shared before what a people magnet our girl is, and i can't help but experience the Lord's pure joy and uninhibited love through her.  I think one of my favorite things about her is how unassuming she is.  I know she is a child and some of it is her age, but most of it is simply who she is.  I wish I had more of that in me than I do.  I assume too much when I give my answers and too much when I get them.  She takes people and what they say at face value and it makes you want to be around her.  She is uninhibited in her love, her laughter, her joy.  She makes my heart sing and there are so many things in her that I hope rub off onto me.

Then there is my Ashlyn Jean.  Oh, she is my faithful one.  And her faithfulness reminds me so much of God's faithfulness.  She is good.  She is kind.   She is forgiving.  She is beautiful, inside and out.  God has given her such insight and discernment and a heart to love people and show them kindness.  She gets what is truly important and it brings life, the Lord's Life, simply by being around her.  Her middle name, my mom's first name, means God's graciousness and she is every bit of that in my life.  

About a month and a half ago she came up with the idea of Kindness Cakes.  What she decided was that she could bake cakes, cookies, cupcakes and then whatever money people pay her, she will donate to people in need.  We have friends of ours who started His Chase in honor of their precious little boy, Chase, who went to be with the Lord 2 years ago.  Through His Chase (www.hischase.org) they help orphans in Africa.  Ashlyn has chosen that her money will go to them and last week sent in over $85.  None of this was my idea.  It was the Lord at work in her.  Here are a couple of the cakes she has made...again, all on her own.

 I am so thankful for the way Christ loves me through these 3 precious ones.  I am so thankful they are mine.

Remembering

The last 2 weeks in September are always a time of remembering, a time of reflecting, a time full of memories.  The last two weeks of September have brought the two most difficult, gutt-wrenching, heart-breaking days of my life.  One of the days, September 18th, things went how I had dreamed and prayed.  On September 30th things went drastically opposite of every prayer and every hope that I had.  In both days, God was present; He was faithful, even though on one of the days I felt like He had let me down.

Three years ago on this very day, this is what was going on:

Actually, these are taken the day after her open heart surgery.  The day of, there were many more tubes and wires, and well, this momma was the one who fainted in the pediatric ICU.

I can remember the month before her cardiologist telling me that we could no longer wait on surgery.  Dr. Kort had been gracious with me...I was the one who kept asking for us to wait just a little longer and see if the hole would close up on its own.  It didn't and fiinally, still with patience but firmness, he told me she was no longer growing because her heart had to work too hard to pump blood throughout her body.  Long-term damage was going to be done if we didn't have the surgery.

From every step of the way, and there are too many details to share, I felt God holding my hand and being so gentle with me.  Every nurse, every doctor, every office attendant, the surgeon was so kind in their answers.  When I called to actually schedule the surgery one of the dates offered was Sept. 30th.  There was no way my heart could take that.  That was the worse day of my life, and I didn't want it to be a repeat.  So it was settled, on Sept. 18th I would hand my 10 mos. old baby girl over to a surgeon and pray like crazy.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I have never experienced the peace of Christ more than on that day. 

"Don't worry about anything; insteady, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."  Phil. 4:6-7

I had grown up hearing that verse all my life.  I had it memorized.  But to experience it is a completely different thing.  I will never forget it.  I literally felt like God was carrying me in His hands.

This is my girl today:

You have no idea how much joy can be packed into this petite little body! 

I was reading Psalm 105 and 106 today.  The psalmist was recounting  Israel's history with the Lord...their journey with Him...the ups and the downs.  It was a time to remember.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.  His faithful love endures forever." Ps. 106:1

Today is a day I will always remember, a day I will always give thanks.

We started a non-profit Gracious Legacy Foundation in honor of Reese and in memory of my mom.  Gift bags are given to children going through open heart surgery or adults going through cancer treatment.  Please join us in giving to others and donate at www.graciouslegacy.org.



Visiting Gampa- Part II

Sunday brought Ashlyn's birthday.  We, of course, went to church that morning which was one of the sweetest times of the trip for me.  We picked up MomMom and then headed to the service.  During the summer they combine the traditional and contemporary services.  Besides being able to worship with 4 generations of my family I was surrounded by more elderly people than I have worshipped with in a long time, if not ever.  All the songs ended up being worship songs I enjoy but are contemporary and I'm guessing that none of the precious older generations knew.  But they stood and worshipped their hearts out.  The pastor spoke God's truth passionately and in a very gripping way.  I left sensing the Lord's presence and a little more in love with Him.

We swam that afternoon and then MomMom, Aunt Nancy, and Uncle Hank came over to help celebrate the sweetest, most amazing 9 year old girl I know!  We cooked out, had cake, opened presents, and celebrated our Ashlyn Jean.  What a blessing she is!