Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Not So Pretty

I don't use this blog to go into detail about when my children are disobedient or to vent when Jason does things that make me really mad. I figure I wouldn't want someone airing my dirty laundry for others to read, so I am not going to air theirs.

However, I genuinely hope that when others check in that they don't get the impression our family is perfect. We aren't. I am definitely not. So, I thought today that I'd let you read my journal entry from my quiet time with the Lord from this morning.

Feb 17, 2011
Lord God,
I am frustrated and finding myself angry. Even angry at You, to be honest. I don't get the prayer thing all too often. I know you aren't a genie in a bottle or Santa Clause, but I do wonder sometimes if prayer makes any difference. It's scary to write these words of my heart down-- almost like I am waiting for lightening to strike. But I know that you know my heart and thoughts anyways. And I know that the best thing to do is to come to You, even when it isn't pretty.

God, we need our house to sell or lease SOON. If you want me to move on and settle in, I need a place where I can do that.

I'm struggling to hear your voice, to expereince Your joy. Please listen to the cries of my heart.

My Bible reading- Matthew 1:1-17 A record of Jesus' ancestors which include:
  • heroes of the faith
  • but those heroes also included liars, a murderer, and those that showed partiality
  • the ordinary
  • a prostitute
  • foreigners
  • the evil

"God's work in history is not limited by human failures or sins, and he works through ordinary people. Just as God used all kinds of people to bring his Son into the world, he uses all kinds today to accomplish His will. And God wants to use you." (commentary from my Life Application Bible study)

"Abundant life is not something to work for, but rather is something to be worked from." (Michael Wells, Sidetracked in the Wilderness)

I had just stopped in the parking lot of a local church on my way home from taking Reese to MDO. As I looked out my window I saw a bunch of tall trees. It's winter and there isn't any type of life on them. I feel like what they look like: dead with no signs of life, ugly. Yet, as I thought about it. They were tall and the wind was blowing like crazy. Still, they didn't fall over which means they have deep roots. And while they don't have anything but dead leaves on them now, I know in another month or two they will be filled with beautiful green leaves. And while I can't see the oxygen they are giving off, I know they are.

So I wrapped up with this prayer:

Father, keep me rooted deep in You. Use me to breathe Your life into others. Please bring new life into my life, spiritually and emotionally (I added spiritually and emotionally bc I think Jase would wince thinking about me having a new life growing in me physically!) May your Spirit always move me. Please sell my house soon. Your child, Kimberly

4 comments:

Not Today Scammer said...

Hi, just browsing through blogs and read your post. It was a good inspiring read, thanks.

Jude & Jane Geroy said...

I have related SO much to what you have posted about being in transition. We have been in transition and waiting on God for what feels like such a long time. thanks so much for your honesty. It makes me feel more like a normal person. :) Sometimes when I share with someone about wanting to be settled, they make a well meaning comment, but I don't think they get it. I love it when God illustrates a situation to me in real life ways. Great tree story! Praying you all will be settled very soon!
Jane (Jude's wife :) )

Magazinci said...

what a cute family :)

Mr P said...

No body is perfect. Imperfections makes us who we are, and your family look 'great'. Your honesty in your sharing 'superb'. Loved being here, enjoyed the 'connection', keepsafe and hope your wants get fulfilled.